?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

The phone lines are down -- otherwise I would have called 911 by now. I had to barricade all the doors and nail plywood across the windows. It was all for naught. I can smell their putrid, decaying flesh through the walls. Their moaning has been constant for three days. Banging... banging on the walls... shotguns won't stop them. Landmines won't stop them, either.

Because these aren't your standard, run-of-the-mill, empty-headed, slack-jawed zombies a la Night of the Living Dead, no! No, these are killer zombies. They run at forty miles an hour and can snap your neck with their pinky finger! They have enormous, razor-sharp, jagged teeth that can tear through solid iron like tissue paper. And they can scheme. OH, THEY CAN SCHEME. I just had to decapitate one that came crawling up under the floorboards. Its black blood is still on me!! Crafty little bastards!

And I can't defeat them! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! They're like parasites! They're around the house, on the roof, clawing at the windows... I NEED HELP! SEND HELP QUICKLY! PLEASE, I CAN HEAR THEM NOW! THEY'RE BREAKING THE KITCHEN WINDOW! OH GOD I CAN HEAR THEM COMING DOWN THE HALL! SEND AN AMBULANCE! I LIVE AT 2908t3gy4teph]yhjkl;'

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lady_adams
Jun. 14th, 2007 07:30 am (UTC)
*innocently* You seem to be having a bit of a zombie problem there, dear. Perhaps you should call Terminex?

*snickers*

Incidentally, Jennifer used to have this "Zombie Survival Guide" somewhere in her basement. I got to reading it one T.G.I.F. but had to leave before I was finished. The next week, it had disappeared, so I still don't know what to do if a full-scale invasion happens...
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

Profile

Jesus CHRIST Horatio Caine is FAR too se
snuffylicious
Snuffy Livingston

Latest Month

August 2007
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner